Hi, I was just your typical 19 year old Seminary girl in South Jersey (if you don't know where I mean, you are probably on the wrong blog). We all have nisoynos, challenges, and experiences, both positive and negative. Here is where I have decided to share some of them.

Location: Lakewood, New Jersey, United States

Thursday, June 16, 2005


This is my first blog, so I am probably very inexperienced at it. I have been visiting numerous blogs over the past year and a half both as a reader, and occasionally an avid commenter. While I have enjoyed many of them, I havent really found one that adequately discusses the issues I face from day to day. While I'm not your average frummy goody-goody girl, BH I'm not completely off the derech either. Both my online friends as well as, real-life Sem-friends have told me on more then one occasion that there really aren't any blogs out there that deal with this. I will admit that I really loved TheGirlsh. Howev she stopped writing about two months ago. Also, my friends and I are not British.

This blog is aimed at girls, like myself who may be considered "bummy" (I hate that label), by teachers, shadchanim, nauseatingly f-frimter girls, and even their own parents. I think we are just living in a very complicated world that doesn't always make sense. We have numerous nisoynos constantly and we are just trying to deal with them as best as we can. Whereas, my brothers have Rebbeim, and learning and excellent support-systems in place, I feel I am just short-changed. Constantly, I am being pressured to conform to sorts of social rules and conventions, while being given very little by way of explanation and understanding. Maybe this isn't the case in all American frum communities. I would like to think its not, but is very real where I live and go to school.

I would like to discuss on this blog, social activities with other girls and married women, Shidduchim, dating (not necessarily marriage-oriented), Tznius, Negia, and other things as they come up.


Blogger thekvetcher said...

what is it you want to know kid. btw do you baby sit?

6/16/2005 3:03 PM  
Blogger Tamara said...

Hey, in response to your comment on my blog, I am on frumster. I don't know what it is though, I get NO responses. I'll worry about dating once I move back up to LA. I've been down in San Diego for ten years and the dating scene is crap :) But, thanks for the little "push" :)

6/16/2005 3:15 PM  
Blogger EN said...

Welcome to the blogging world. :)
Let it all out. :)

6/16/2005 5:55 PM  
Blogger EN said...

P.S. I'm a cute boy.

6/16/2005 6:00 PM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

Thats not fair. Tamara posts her picture. EN says he's a cute boy but doesn't post.

Tam you are very pretty, but I dont swing that way.

EN, you are a tease.

6/17/2005 10:51 AM  
Blogger EN said...

I would post my picture, but it might come back to haunt me if I go on a date with someone who reads my blog. ;)

6/17/2005 11:48 AM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

I know what you mean.

6/17/2005 12:29 PM  
Blogger thekvetcher said...


6/17/2005 2:08 PM  
Blogger LostSpirit said...

Vellcome to blog velt. I can not offer much on the “social activities with other girls and married women, Shidduchim, dating (not necessarily marriage-oriented), Tznius, Negia,” but I some times try to get along with a git vort so good luck and looking forward.

6/17/2005 3:46 PM  
Blogger Shopaholic said...

Welcome! You have just entered the blogger's paradise- the best place to write,vent and rant about everything and anything- Looking fwds to reading your blogs.

6/17/2005 4:49 PM  
Blogger FoncusedYid said...

Hi there,

Well, i am a guy who got married 5 years ago, and untill then i had "Heimishe" girl friends from the community. I dont want to sound like my father, but if i would do it all over again i would not go that route, it gave me a lot of trouble later on in life (AS in now!). So, if you are ion the begining put a stop to any of these things (if youre doing it) right now, otherwise if youre in to it for a while, i might as well be quiet cuz aint no way youre stopping now!!

I am very happily married, but still have relations with another girl that i dated back then, i know it does not make sense but it works for me

Good luck

6/18/2005 6:36 PM  
Blogger anti_chusid said...

hi there and welcome to the world of blogging

6/19/2005 8:54 AM  
Blogger Semgirl said...


Well on a neg note, if you are happily married, thats very uncool. Its not right to your wife or the other girl. All 3 of you are bound to get hurt.

As for your other point, you are right, maybe a few years ago, I could hear you. I am in way too deep now. I go on my regular very Yeshivish shiduchim, which are mostly disapointing. And, I meet unbelievably cute frum guys (BOCHURIM, I stay away from married guys) at bowling, movies, pizza places, etc.. and that is my biggest weakness.
Planning to write about it, when I get thru the more important issues I plan to discuss.

6/19/2005 9:40 AM  
Blogger thekvetcher said...

confused: we have a vixen on our hands here.

6/19/2005 10:43 AM  
Blogger thekvetcher said...

tamara: you should hook up with SEMGIRL maybe your social life will pick up.

6/19/2005 12:45 PM  
Blogger tuesdaywishes said...

I'm a mom, my daughters are not all that many years away from shidduchim. I believe in openess. If you meet a cute bochur, and he's eligible and so are you, I don't think there is anything wrong with developing a relationship. You could even get engaged and then deep-six the truth, tell people you were introduced by a shadchan. Just don't lie to your parents. I'm sure they'd rather know that you are involved with an otherwise acceptable guy, than imagine what kind of "bum" you might be sneaking off with.

6/19/2005 9:58 PM  
Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

Whatever you do, just remember this rule:

That hot sexy lover who will climb through your window to be with you in bed while your parents are asleep in the other room, once married, he will be the first one to climb out of your window....

6/20/2005 3:35 PM  
Blogger thekvetcher said...


6/20/2005 5:25 PM  
Blogger Ben Sorer Moreh said...

You go, girl! I like your 'blog and the candid way you're dealing with "stuff" Best of luck. Also, remember, there are many types of good Jews (and people) in and around "Torah Town" and I hope you can learn from them. I've posted a link to your 'blog in the "inspirations" section of mine.

Ben, old enough to be your daddy

6/21/2005 1:45 PM  
Blogger The Hedyot said...

Welcome to the blog world and good luck on making it successful. May you express yourself well. May you be open to learn new things. May you have the courage to honestly reexamine your assumptions as they may be challenged.

6/21/2005 8:43 PM  
Blogger chayala said...


I think now, more than ever, the label is used without due regard for the labeled, and that the labels used are stuck with stronger glue onto the girls than the boys.

"We have numerous nisoynos constantly and we are just trying to deal with them as best as we can. Whereas, my brothers have Rebbeim, and learning and excellent support-systems in place, I feel I am just short-changed."

Why? You might not have a "Rav," but there's no reason you can't have a mentor. when chazal said "asei lecho rav," they didn't mean only men!

6/21/2005 9:52 PM  
Blogger Avi said...

Nice article semgirl. Dont drop Ben he sounds like a winner. When it comes time to get married, DONT let your parents pressure you. You will have to live with whatever decision YOU make. Nobody else

7/06/2005 5:54 PM  
Blogger ExPrincipal said...

Hi SemGirl and others,

Wow, great blog. I'm happily married for 20+ years and it's been a wild ride. Now, my sons are on the market and this site is an eye opener.

For years my wife has told my kids, "Don't do this on a date."

I just hope that when the time comes, they remember what their mother taught them and not how their friends in yeshiva behave.


Hashem Yirachem. LOL.

7/26/2005 6:10 PM  
Blogger ultrafrumguy said...

ok i'm gonna nitpick here. you write that as its your first blog you probably are inexperienced. that comment sounds like george bush made it! if its your first blog then you are by definition inexperienced. what you probably meant to say was that as its your first blog you probably are not very good at it. anyway dont worry you're doing fine!

8/11/2005 7:28 PM  
Blogger Manny said...

Just came across your blog - really interesting. Your site represents a struggle that I am really familiar with (i have sisters), and that I have a hard time dealing with.
Looks good!

8/14/2005 4:34 PM  

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