SEMGIRL

Hi, I was just your typical 19 year old Seminary girl in South Jersey (if you don't know where I mean, you are probably on the wrong blog). We all have nisoynos, challenges, and experiences, both positive and negative. Here is where I have decided to share some of them.

Name:
Location: Lakewood, New Jersey, United States

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Cyber Rape

Sorry, its been a while since my last post. I sort of got addicted to chatting, and one particular chatroom, so that might as well be the subject of tonite’s article. It can be a very fun place to surf to, however a few caveats are in order.
If you like to cyber-tease, and don’t mind all te stupid pickup lines at best, or the vulgar disgusting obscenities at worst, then go for it.


However, most of us really don’t appreciate it. Don’t get me wrong. I like to chat with guys. But, “ASL, are you a babe”, “Can I do you”, “Lets meet, sweet stuff”, “I can be discreet”, and other openers that I would rather not write here are examples of offensive first liners that really turn me off.

Reverting back to the theme in my last post, it amazes me to no end how so many allegedly Heimishe men can be married for ten years or more, have large families, and still don’t have a clue how to speak to women respectfully. This is very unfortunate, because Yiddishe ChatRoom and other such sites could be very enjoyable diversions, that help you de-stress and meet new friends. It’s a shame that some losers have decided to turn it into their own forum for what my friends have termed “CyberRape” or “HiTech Gangbang”.

My suggestion to any girls that have experienced this and found it offensive is, not to be intimidated, but rather tell the chatter on the other end that you do not appreciate being addressed in such an uncouth manner and find it very distasteful. If enough of us speak up, maybe they might just get a clue..

41 Comments:

Blogger fsgsf said...

Hey Semgirl, welcome back to Blogsville! We missed you.

As far as your topic, Why even dignify these losers with a response?! Ignore them! If they cant be respectful, you don't want them in your life anyway!!!!

Peace!

NJ from NJ

7/10/2005 11:44 PM  
Blogger StillSearching said...

What about the singles waiting to be married. People collect $$$$$$ for hachnasas kala but do nothing for singles

7/11/2005 12:12 AM  
Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

"Yiddishe ChatRoom and other such sites could be very enjoyable diversions, that help you de-stress and meet new friends. It’s a shame that some losers have decided to turn it into their own forum for what my friends have termed “CyberRape” or “HiTech Gangbang”."

Girl, your being nieve again, or acting your age I should say.
You really believe these "men married for 10 years or more" really care to just chatt with you and become your "friend" ?
I actually think these "offensive- first -liners" are cool.
At least these guys cut the crap. They don't Bs you.
They let you know exactly why and what they're there for.

7/11/2005 12:58 AM  
Blogger EN said...

I agree it is disgusting and it is very addictive. (p.s.-my pick up lines are copywrited, you must pay to use them, Just kidding.)It is unfortunate that girl chatters are constantly bombarded by sex offers. My suggestion is that they use a male screen name, unless they want to be picked up by gay guys...which we wont get into here. The point is well made and duly noted. There should be a shomer at the door to separate the sexes. As technology gets better I am sure the tznius police will come up with a way. Until then listen to SG!! Leave the girls alone. (I am talking to myself here of course).

P.P.S. what is yur name so I don't use the same pick up lines.

Abstinance and ignorance (to ignore) is the best from of prevention. Trust me, I've had the door shut in my face countless of times.

7/11/2005 1:50 AM  
Blogger thekvetcher said...

I LIKE TO USE PICK UP LINES IN PERSON MYSELF. ONCE I WAS IN A RESTAURANT AND THE WAITRESS ASKED ME WHAT WOULD I LIKE TO EAT? I TOLD HER WHY DONT YOU JUMP BETWEEN 2 SLICES OF BREAD AND YOU CAN BE MY LOVE SANDWICH. HOWS THAT ONE SEMI? GOT A FREE SIDE ORDER OF FRIES WITH THAT.

WELCOME BACK WE THOUGHT YOU RAN OFF AND GOT MARRIED.

7/11/2005 9:09 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

Oh, oh, Oh! You gotta read my post at another one of my blogs:

http://www.xanga.com/Jennifer_Mitts. It's about this topic!

7/11/2005 9:47 AM  
Blogger fsgsf said...

Ha! The "Tznius police" Are the biggest perverts of them all!!!!

Peace!

NJ from NJ

7/11/2005 10:35 AM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

Thanks for the link, Jenn. Its interesting. I also find it very perplexing, that while you might not want the male attention at all; he was still very respectful.
This really bothers me A Goy from Tennessee is basically polite, yet most of the time a Chasidishe Yiid from Williamsburg starts off being very vulgar and obscene..
Why is that??

7/11/2005 10:37 AM  
Blogger Judah said...

Why does that surprise you Semgirl??? They were never taught to be polite!!

They are vulgar and obscene, especially when it comes to "girls".

Somehow,in their minds being that way is the right way.......

7/11/2005 11:49 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

No offense or anything, but I happen to think that these chat rooms are created for losers in general. I understand it is definitely a way to de-stress, as I justified it back when I was 12. Think about it-the only reason these pervs decide to go there is because they know that's where they'll get what they want. Even if you don't sleep around, would you want to be friends with someone who does??

I don't mean to be offensive, just stating my humble jewish opinion. (Hardy Har Har)

7/11/2005 1:15 PM  
Blogger fsgsf said...

Michelle- You chatted in Chat rooms when you were 12??

Peace!

NJ from NJ

7/11/2005 2:48 PM  
Blogger AnonyOne said...

Jen, your link's not working for me. :(

7/11/2005 9:12 PM  
Blogger Kiki said...

The overt sexual predator tone of any chat room is the reason why I stay away. Not knowing that I could really be chatting with my son's rebbe who is being rude lewd and disgusting - I don't want to deal with that kind of behaviour. I get enough of that in Real life (not from the rebbe tho, but from "frummers" never the less)

I like your blog - you raise some excellent issues. Where were you when I was 18??? LOL.

I'll look forward to stopping by again soon.

7/11/2005 10:02 PM  
Blogger fsgsf said...

Ahhh..If only Blogsville was in existence when I was 18...........................

Peace!

NJ from NJ

7/11/2005 10:38 PM  
Blogger NeedsaBlowJob said...

Kiki, be honest you get hit on and....
you love it.

7/11/2005 10:47 PM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

NABJ:

you are a case in point. A perfect example of what I mean. A guy will pick a real "original" SN like HARDON (very mature), and start off right away, "You want my ** and you know it".

Actually, I don't, and whatever amorous feelings I may of had you completely vanquished by totally repulsing me.

7/11/2005 11:16 PM  
Blogger NeedsaBlowJob said...

what a fool you are. i am a female too.

7/12/2005 8:52 AM  
Blogger thekvetcher said...

maybe he is a coke addict that what he or she means by blow job. semgirl you are the one thinking in sexual undertones. kiki how are you today? its rabbi penis here. we need to talk about your son

7/12/2005 9:27 AM  
Blogger Meyer said...

sg. you've got to stay with the guy who rocks your world. nobody else can do. a boy will become a man. and he will become what you expect him to be

7/12/2005 10:08 AM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

NABJ:

So why do you have such a handle?

7/12/2005 10:41 AM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

Meyer: I totally agree with you. But what if he isn't interested in marriage for a few years and he's just going to string me along. I should devote a whole post to that alone.

7/12/2005 10:46 AM  
Blogger FoncusedYid said...

Kvetch,

What a great pick up line!!! if i was girl i would do you right there and then. it is soooo original and hot!!!ARGHHHHHHHHHH While were at it,let me give you mine i was once in a bar and i saw this hot girl and i said Honey! do you have a miror in your pocket and she said why you asking so i said " because i see myself in your pants!! 1/2 hr later i woke up on the bench in the park with a swollen lip. Thats all i remember.


Hoisentragerin.

Its so refreshing to see a girl like you with a good sense of humor, i have some great one liners for you but i need to know how hard to you punch i cant afford another swelling on my pretty face

7/12/2005 1:30 PM  
Blogger FoncusedYid said...

You know, I am reading all these stuff about boys and girls and husbands and wives and i come back to the same question. Who decided that cheating is the ultimate sin? why is it when someone has a nice family and steals millions from the govt or hundres of thousands from the shul where he davens, that everyone says, nah its not that bad, he didnt know it, wasent really stealing they stole it too or any other excuse they can find. And they will actually help him out with money and support. However, when it comes to cheating, its the end of the world, he is a low life a sheigets. why is it Shlomo hamelech needed 1000 wives (i still dont buy that) and Yakkov Aviny had 4 shifchas (Pilegesh) And Yehuda the son of Yakkov picked up a prostitue (i wonder what the price was those days) and today its the ultimate sin? i really really dont get it, Anyone???

7/12/2005 1:44 PM  
Blogger fsgsf said...

Foncusedyid- Right on!! Great question!! If so many great Rabbis and kings over the past couple of thousand years su"cum"med to this sin and to no other sins, maybe it isnt as bad as everyone makes it!!

When "respectable Jews" cheat on taxes and steal from others it is the ultimate Chillul Hashem and it is all over the front page of the news! When someone gives into an urge for whatever reason and has sex with someone in the privacy of some hotel room, where is the Chillul Hashem?

With Chillul Hashem being "the biggest aveira"- thats what they teacj in Yeshiva- seems the mindset of what sin is worse is "cock"eyed.

Peace!
NJ from NJ

7/12/2005 2:06 PM  
Blogger thekvetcher said...

CONFUSED DO YOU GET UP EVERY MORNING AND SAY THAT YOU ARE MEKADESH THE MONEY THAT YOU MAKE. THE WOMAN YOU MARRY IS MEKADESH TO YOU AND YOU ONLY. NOW IF YOU DO A SINGLE GIRL I DONT THINK ITS CHEATING BECAUSE YOU CAN BE MEKADESH HER IF THE FIT IS GOOD. SOTO ANSWER THE STEALING THING IT HAS TO DO WITH THE INTRINSIC STATUS OF THE MONEY IF I WERETO GUESS. I THINK THIS IS A SHAILAH FOR SHLOIMY HAGAON.

HERES ANOTHER PICK UP "YOU LOOK LIKE MY FIRST WIFE AND IM STILL SINGLE" KEEP ON ROCKING IN THE FREE WORLD.

7/12/2005 3:33 PM  
Blogger BushCheney08 said...

nice blog!

http://bushisnotantichrist.blogspot.com/

7/12/2005 4:04 PM  
Blogger scott penton said...

I love those chat rooms, that's why I got my high-speed internet connection, JUST KIDDING :) yea, their a bunch of losers, in their, ignore them, their go away, I think, although that's what they said about spam. ?!

7/12/2005 4:54 PM  
Blogger Queenie said...

The lines under your writing make it hard to read.

Good for you, speaking up!

7/13/2005 10:34 PM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

Queenie
Which lines are you referring to. I am always trying to improve the blog.

7/14/2005 12:40 AM  
Blogger Halfnutcase said...

OI. that's sad. but, why else would most frummers go there? stupid boys. wish someone would teach us to actualy respect the women.

7/14/2005 1:59 PM  
Blogger Pragmatician said...

I am not sure that in real life they can't express themselves more politely, but let's not forget that the anonymity internet (almost) guarantees is an opportunity for some, to say things one can never express in ' real ' life

.

7/15/2005 4:52 AM  
Blogger fsgsf said...

Prag- Just because one is saying things that they wouldnt otherwise say in real life, is no excuse for saying them rudely!

Peace!

NJ from NJ

7/15/2005 9:49 AM  
Blogger daat y said...

Semgirl,What are you doing blogging on inappropriate posts.

7/16/2005 4:48 PM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

DY

Could you please explain what you mean?

7/17/2005 1:54 AM  
Blogger Bekitche said...

Hi semgirl,

I,ve been reading your blogs for a while, i would just like to say i really enjoy your style of writing. Keep it up!

7/17/2005 10:06 AM  
Blogger Thoughtfullcare said...

thoughtfullcare.blogspot.com

7/19/2005 5:40 AM  
Blogger Cool BT said...

The
dangers of the internet
. Be careful out there :)

8/03/2005 7:56 PM  
Blogger Mata Hari said...

in my humble opinion, if this is the crowd that the chat room attracts, you should stay out of it. you're an adult - and part of having more freedom and less supervision is that you get to make the choices yourself. don't put yourself in a situation where you'll be subject to lewd comments. although you might feel like you're unaffected, those type of comments/conversation tend to desensitize you.

9/25/2005 9:41 AM  
Blogger Eshet Chayil said...

In my experience, the heimish men in chat assume any girl who can sit in a chat room deserves what she gets. Which is extremely sad...I personally trusted and believed an extremely "frum" man that made me think he had a beautiful heart, and met one (mistakingly) and almost ended up raped in his car. Girls, please, don't get into these chat relationships. Frum men seem to know us as frum girls...ask then if they think we should be more like the goyim. Ask them if they would want someone to talk like this to their wife, mother, or daughter. Let it be known, that they should be glad there are still tznuis girls, and that they should protect us instead of trying to make us like the skanks that walk downtown. Don't let them prey on our innocence, which is EXACTLY what they do. I don't usually comment, but I thought I should state something here. Being a semgirl myself.

10/25/2005 4:36 PM  
Blogger Elchonon said...

Woah, i am wayyy late to this reply, Back in july i was sealed off in gush katif.
Stop for a minute to think... What was the name of the chatroom?
If you were in a chatroom that is like "ceyber perverts" well yea you are asking for it.
if your SN is "hotsexychick69xxx"
Then you are beging for it.
To blame the guy is wrong.
I see girls these days complaining how guys are such perv's... Meanwhile these same girls parade around in shirts with clevege popping out and skirts so shirt that they dont bother closing their legs.. and you expect a guy to NOT look up their legs?!?!?!?
If a guy for instance would walk around with his testicals showing he is ALSO a sick pervert no??
Problem is woman view sex as a monopoly... i did not make that up!! Just learn history...
And so going in the "sick dirty perverts hangout" chatroom with a SN like "sexass69xxx" Is begging for it! the same way walking down Harlem at night with a clear plastic bag of 1 million dollars in cash is BEGGING TO BE ROBBED!!

NUFF SAID!! http://gushkatif.blogspot.com

11/17/2005 5:28 AM  
Blogger Elchonon said...

As far as chasidim go... You can spot a chusid by those that type in caps. They were not raised in a society to deal with women other then family members. I am taken to task constantly for being "rude" to girls... No i'm not rude i just have no patience to wait a hour while these girls chat with my friends "ok ok it was nice meeting you, we gotta go bbye" thats rude ??? You should see what girls do to get rid of guys that are talking to a friend of theirs and they dont approve.

11/17/2005 5:32 AM  

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