Call The Men In The White Coats
A friend of mine really worked overtime, laboriously for months, making a Shidduch. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy , blaaaa blaa, blaaa. Wonderful, they get engaged. Dont say Mazal Tov, just yet. One set of in-laws was adamant that the Choson wear his payos up, the other was just as adamant that he wear them down. Ultimately, it proved to be such a bone of contention that the engagement was called off. After much heated negotiation and mediation, they got back together. Even though, the Shadchan was in Israel on business, they were cajoled into proceding , as its such a volatile situation, it was too risky to wait . I kid you not. I thought of the perfect compromise. How about, one payos up, and one payos down..
At one of the meals, one of the guests warmly greeted someone she hadnt seen for quite a while, "Chava Sara, how are you". Chava Sara was furious and demanded to know, who told her that her full name is Chava Sara. It seems that she only goes by Chava, because her son is "on the market", and he wont be able to date all the lovely Sarahs out there, if it became public knowledge that her few name includes Sarah. How one innocent greeting at a Yom Tov suddenly, puts its on a neon billboard on 13th Ave, I dont quite understand. Also, if that is in fact her name, then halachically speaking, does it matter who knows and who doesnt. You iz who you iz, to quote a famous rapper.. But I guess no one informed her of that, or maybe she was just too busy shopping.
Finally, we have Bais Yacob's finest and brightest..NOT.. Her wishlist is a "stark" learning boy, who learn and intends to take up space permanently in the finest yeshivas in the world. However, he should also be more handsome then Leonardo DiCaprio and come from a very wealthy family. Personally, I think she needs a wizard who can wave a magic wand, and SHAZAM transform, a spoiled, shallow, superficial Paris Hilton wannabee into a bas Yisroel.. Now that would be some feat.
I hope everyone elses's Yom Tov was equally amusing, and entertaining. Seriously, "AVINU MALKEINU SHELACH REFUAH SHLEIMA L CHOLEI AMECHA"