Hi, I was just your typical 19 year old Seminary girl in South Jersey (if you don't know where I mean, you are probably on the wrong blog). We all have nisoynos, challenges, and experiences, both positive and negative. Here is where I have decided to share some of them.

Location: Lakewood, New Jersey, United States

Monday, October 26, 2009

Seichel Crisis

All the time I keep hearing about the so called 'Shidduch Crisis'. Everything, nowadays is a crisis. It used to be that a crisis was a pogrom, r"l, a wholesale execution of Jews (Hashem should avenge the blood of all the Kedoshim), a plague, an economic meltdown, etc. Now, it means, that a bunch of spoiled, over-indulged children didnt get the lollypop they wanted.

Anyway, in numerous conversations, as well as, in the high-quality literature that I read (The Voice, Yated, HaModea, Mispocha magazine, etc.) there are numerous letters, and Pullitzer prize-winning articles about the 'Shidduch Crisis'.

Questions that come to mind. Why do we need every 18 yr old right out of HS/Sem going on the 'market' . Maybe if they waited till 20, many positive gains would come out of it. First off, the girls would have more money saved up, and more marketable skills, hence less strain on the parents. There wouldnt be an overwhelming supply of girls for a drastically small amount of immature, arrogant bochurim coming out of the (drumroll please) freezer.In economics, they call this 'Market Equlibrium', the point where the x-axis ( spoiled girls who want top boys from designer-name yeshivas ) meets the y-axis(aforementioned boys who plan to be in 'in yeshiva' for a very long time; some may even learn a little Torah).

Another question: Why does the financial responsibility of all this rest squarely on the girl and her parents. It seems only fair and just that the boy have some sort of business, or job during bain hasedorim or at least in the summer bain hazmanim. If he is learning so intesnsely, that he requires full support from his wife and her parents, at the very least, there should be a weekly exam to see where he is holding. Once again, in economics, this is known as evaluating 'return on equity' .

But alas, we dont do that, today, because the yeshiva world is becoming an increasingly unjust, misogynistic soceity.To be fair, the women are just as much, to blame, if not more so, then the men.

Recently, I had a discussion with a group of ladies on this topic. A few claimed that the Seminaries are teaching the girls too much , they are going to scare the boys away. I countered , so let the boys learn harder to keep up. Suddenly, I was shunned and ignored by all present. Ah, Plato and his social theories of ostracism, in ancient Athens, are alive and well in 21st century Lakewood.

Current attitudes in vogue, are even reflected in ladie's fashions. Whereas, not so long ago, you had the full blown sheitl or (up-dos for single girls ) , big shoulder-pads and power=suits. Now, the prevalent style among the hordes of yeshivish girls and married women eager to be part of the herd, is the pony-tail, sweater top, A-line skirt, replete with tights and ballet slippers. The message of this ensemble is loud and clear, 'Please marry me, Im very non-threatening and submissive' . Or, it just might be that , they are all appealing to immature little boys who be intimidated by a real woman, and prefer little girls/barby dolls instead,.

That is why I truely dont believe there is a Shidduch crisis. There is a Seichel Crisis .. Hashem should hear our tefilos 'Hashiva Shofteinu Cvirishona ' and return daas to clall yisroel. And may Eliyahu come speedily in our days to end all this nonsense..

Primary Pulmonary Hypertension
Primary Pulmonary Hypertension