SEMGIRL

Hi, I was just your typical 19 year old Seminary girl in South Jersey (if you don't know where I mean, you are probably on the wrong blog). We all have nisoynos, challenges, and experiences, both positive and negative. Here is where I have decided to share some of them.

Name:
Location: Lakewood, New Jersey, United States

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Glad to Be Back


So how was everyone’s Pesach ? It was a very relaxing, enjoyable break, but I really missed being away from my blog and all the other blogs, that I love to read , as well as corresponding with all my cyber-friends. Bh, I have been fortunate enough to meet a few in real life, and hope to meet some others in the near future.

First off, married life has its ups and downs. Obviously, the closeness is wonderful. For example, even the little things like the Shabbos, YomTov, and Sunday afternoon walks by the lake, and going to Ritas for ice-cream and stuff like that. On the down side, it does tend to overwhelm you. Marriage is a major adjustment, especially if you don’t come from a large family and you are usually having your own space, and lots of privacy. Then suddenly, you have to share a room, and your life, and all your waking hours with a man. It can get a bit suffocating.

I am not sure, if this is good or bad, but my husband is even more of a rebellious spirit than I am. We were in Monsey in a restaurant that has posted signs (in Yiddish of course), that request and plead with all the customers to eat in separate male and female areas. My husband just sits down and starts feeding me, and says he can’t read Yiddish. Then we go to a store that sells snoods and women’s apparel, and he asks the saleslady if the store accepts money from men. Guess, I will just have to wait for the new Zman to begin so I can go shopping , alone and unfettered, as I wasn’t able to get anything. He said he was looking for the right snood for me that talks to him. So I told him, that they are going to cart him away to Rockland Psychiatric, if he is speaking to snoods. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that husbands should speak to their Callas, as opposed to her headgear.



As it is, I let him talk me into a long shoulder-length Sheitl that is murder to wear in the hot weather. Probably, I will just stick to falls and Kangol caps all summer.
Chol HaMoed was great. We went to Bear Mtn State Park one day, and bowling the next. It was a lot of fun.

YomTov was exceptionally enjoyable. There was a Young Israel-type shul that my friend introduced me to. The daverning was very nice, as were the extremely entertaing droshas that the Rabbi gave. It was also an extremely female-friendly shul. Something that is sorely lacking in Lakewood.. In six months, I have gone from a “bummy” girl to a young married woman who escaped from the asylum.

I hope you all a holiday season that was just as pleasant.

56 Comments:

Blogger Jew Speak said...

Semgirl,

Wow! I took a break from the blog world for a minute and now you are married!? Mazol Tov!

Reading your reactions to marriage sounds something like a case of inspiration and disappointment. Not that you are disappointed or anything but that the natural "highs" that are given to us don't last. Then we deal with reality. That article has an interesting spin on the matter.

Anyhow... I am probably going to get back in to the blogging very soon. Nice to hear good news from you! Take care.

4/27/2006 7:37 AM  
Blogger Life Is So Great said...

happy to hear that you enjoyed you Chol Hamoed (and yom tov).

just a question, isnt it not proper, even if you arent chasidish, to show chiba in public.

yes i can imagine how 'romantic' it is for a husband to feed you (reminds me of the chosson feeding the kallah cake by the wedding), but when someone sees it doesnt it come to a tznius issue? sort of like holding hands in public (when it is allowed of course)?

i dont mean to knock you or anything, and i understand that you have come a long way from 6 months ago.. but come'on

enjoy the rest of your bein hazmanim!!

4/27/2006 9:47 AM  
Blogger MUST Gum Addict said...

I have gone from a “bummy” girl to a young married woman who escaped from the asylum.

What a profound and deep statement. At the same time, I'm incredibly happy for you, and yet incredibly sad for those who still suffer...

4/27/2006 12:34 PM  
Blogger ms. shtark said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4/27/2006 12:35 PM  
Blogger ms. shtark said...

ponytail shaitels are back in style!!!! try those! i know i know i sound like a ditz, semgirl but you would probably look really cute in it!

4/27/2006 12:36 PM  
Blogger Limey2001 said...

You've gone form a bummy to one who has a more"daring" husband and will cringe when he does his "bummy" antics. Join my world
Wow, you're growing up!

4/27/2006 1:35 PM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

Jewspeak..glad to see that you are back, too.

Life_is_so_Great

Love your screen-name. I suppose you have a point. Guess I'm not an angel, yet.

"and yet incredibly sad for those who still suffer..."

Must..how very true.

MS..I'll keep that in mind..

Limey...thanks.

4/27/2006 2:19 PM  
Blogger FrumGirl said...

Semgirl, you have me giggling! I was gonna post about this eventually but since you brought it up I'll just ask you here... I always ask new kalla's how it is with their sheitels. I know I had a tantrum about it (throwing it on the floor and stepping on it) in the beginning and hated it, how are you doing with it?

By the way... My e-mail address has been updated since for some reason Yahoo doesnt work - you can email me now at 'frumgirlsblog@gmail.com'

4/27/2006 2:19 PM  
Blogger specialx2 said...

LOL! Your husband sounds ok...

4/27/2006 2:59 PM  
Blogger Eshet Chayil said...

SG, I don't know how people were calling you bummy not married at 19 or 20. When you hit 22, 23,24, 25, that's what you get called bummy. I'm 21 next week, and still waiting until after summer for shaddichim.

About the sheitl, you prefer a snood? I'm sure you kept your hair under the sheitl, so I can imagine it does get hot...and about the pony tails sheitls DONT DO IT THEY LOOK SO NEBBY!!

4/27/2006 4:31 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

SG - As always, welcome back. I'm glad the honeymoon has gone so well. And that you've already learned so much. It's amazing how we sometimes think that we're going to transform into a different person when we get married, but lo and behold, the day after the wedding, we are the same people (albeit with different hair). Hopefully, you and your Chosson will find your place in the world. If it's at a Young Israel, than BH. From your reference to Zman, does that mean your husband is learning? When will you guys move out of town? We've got plenty of room here!

4/27/2006 11:09 PM  
Blogger KiddushClubGuy said...

You guys sound like a cross between Thursday Night Chulent & Pearl Abraham

4/29/2006 8:56 AM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

Welcome back KiddushClub guy.. Nice to hear from you. I never heard of Pearl Abraham before, so I googled it. Her books seem really fascinating. Im going to B&N, tommorrow to get a copy of The Romance Reader. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

4/29/2006 11:29 PM  
Blogger Lvnsm27 said...

Welcome back. Glad you had good time.

4/30/2006 3:41 AM  
Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

honey here is me giving you a slow sensual massage
I believe women should be pampered
and heres five hundred bucks
go buy yourself some nice shoes.

4/30/2006 9:49 AM  
Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

come over for my lesbian fantasy

4/30/2006 10:31 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Do you mean to say that whn you were single, you were considered a bum, but now that you are married, you are considered a simply more modern young woman?

4/30/2006 11:33 AM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

Hi Michelle.. Thats exactly what I mean

4/30/2006 2:34 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

SG - I think what Michelle is saying makes sense (not necessarily in a good sense, but true nonetheless). When we are single and waiting to be set up, we rely on other's impressions of us. We fall into neat little categories, like good or bummy. But once we are married, we define our own roles in the world. Instead of hanging out with the wrong crowd, a married couple makes their own decisions, many in private. Are there still good married couples and bummy married couples? Sure. But when you were singled, the good and bummy were all mixed together (in school), and after marriage they tend to separate. Now, nobody's telling you what to do, so it's up to you and your husband to find your place in the community. There aren't any more excuses.

4/30/2006 5:45 PM  
Blogger curious said...

How is the sex?

5/01/2006 12:08 PM  
Blogger Okee said...

Hi!! I'm so happy you posted! It's so interesting to hear the post-wedding view. I think it's adorable that your husband wants to help you pick out head coverings, but i can see why that wouldn't work so well.

People always ask, oh, are you ready for marriage -but marriage is life, are you ever really ready for the everyday ups and downs...anyway, it sounds like your taking your new life in stride-very real! Can't wait for the next post

5/01/2006 2:19 PM  
Blogger YM said...

What resturaunt in Monsey asks married men and women to sit apart.

5/01/2006 5:26 PM  
Blogger Avrohom said...

Just read your comments on Satmar in shlomohamelech.

The "gedolim" you quote when denegrating Torah true Yiddishkeit shows that either you have not been very well influenced by them or they were not very effective leaders. Get it straight, your current post shows your level of immaturity. Wow, you flout tznius in public? Face it, you are a low life not those working boys in Willi who keep every halolcho. if the frum world turns you off, get out. You can live undisturbed in any outlying or less RW community, so go. Just don't put people down who are years ahead of you.

5/02/2006 6:47 AM  
Blogger Avrohom said...

Oh, and a word of warning. the ones who are known as bums when single get confident when they're married to other bums so they think that now they're modern but decent. The world sees it differently. They were single bums. Now they're married bums.

5/02/2006 6:50 AM  
Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

Curious-the sex was lousy and painful. They had no idea what they were doing. She cried half the time and he ran into the bathroom

5/02/2006 8:27 AM  
Blogger Jewboy said...

Avrohom-I looked up jerk in the dictionary and found your name there. Wonder why?

5/02/2006 11:37 AM  
Blogger david said...

Curious, none of your damn business.

5/02/2006 1:23 PM  
Blogger Elisheva said...

Wow. Do I have to come after such 'nice' comments? lol.

Hi and Mazel Tov!!!!!

I am just about to leave work where I am checking online and although Semgirl was e-mailing me and I was aware of the things going on even when I wasn't online, still an official Mazel Tov is in place for the blog.

May you always get all the things that will be good for your growth in ruchnius and in gashmius, and may all your tefillos be answered for the best.

Shalom

5/02/2006 7:16 PM  
Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

I like those tichuls better! Nice blog come visit mine.

5/03/2006 9:40 AM  
Blogger The Truth said...

Curious: if you think it should be discussed why don't you open a blog and talk about it. Joking, but don't ask others such stupid corny questions.....

5/03/2006 11:21 AM  
Blogger FrumGirl said...

All of you keep falling for the antagonists. It cracks me up... just ignore!

5/03/2006 12:44 PM  
Blogger Limey2001 said...

SG- what song did you walk down the aisle to?

5/03/2006 5:53 PM  
Blogger Lakewood Venter said...

Curious- from your immature question it is quite evident that the only experience you have ever had with sex is between you and yourself. Get a life!

5/04/2006 9:41 AM  
Blogger curious said...

I don't understand why you are all gettin your knickers in a bunch. Semgirl has previously written about intimate things, and she even questioned why people thought it was a big deal.

When you first get married, it is a big deal, and contributes greatly to enjoyment and disapointment. Clearly, semgirl is no prude, as she has publicly demonstrated, so why are y'all bugging out? If she says she doesn't want to share, thats fine, but who are you "cyberfriends" to say what she can or can't comment on?

5/04/2006 10:39 AM  
Blogger blueenclave said...

I think our rabbi wanted myself and my husband to get married because we were both bums. We certainly have not transcended bummitude in almost four years.

5/07/2006 12:08 PM  
Blogger blueenclave said...

I have a whole pile of posts from Gush Etzion that I might even finish by Shavuot.

5/07/2006 12:09 PM  
Blogger blueenclave said...

Just yesterday there was a kiddush for someone who speeded up getting his MBA so he could go to study in Israel (Yasher Koach) No one has ever accused me of having that level of dedication.

5/07/2006 12:11 PM  
Blogger jewish philosopher said...

Now you just have to tell us honestly: what is more interesting, blogging or marriage? Especially considering the content of my blog!!!

5/07/2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger mamash cute said...

Remember me? I'm the one who thinks you're insane. I can't believe you're married. Who in G-d's name would marry you? You're a depressed, sad girl with issues that require psychiatric help.

Does your husband know about your blog? Does he know that you find your knew life with him to be suffocating? Does he care that you're sharing private details with THE WORLD?! Why'd you stop with the wedding? Why not inform us of your wedding night? You sure don't seem to find the need of anthing to remain private.

I want to teach you something a little Jewish. It goes like this: it's known that there's no bracha in something that everyone knows. Maybe the reason for all your near engagements and your broken engagement is because you can't take joy in something privately. You have some sick need to give over and share every detail of your life with complete strangers. I have never met and I don't even know what your face looks like but I do know all of your acts and thoughts over the past year and a half. Doesn't that bother you??

Are you ashamed of your marraige? your husband? your secret wedding that was kept under wraps? do you have pictures that you can take out in a few years time to recapture the "joy" you felt on your wedding day? or G-d forbid someone else might see them and then your secret wedding wouldn't be a secret anymore.

I think you need to sit down and contemplate what I just told you. Your life pretty much resembles garbage at the moment and is heading downhill.... and fast.

5/08/2006 6:30 AM  
Blogger Lakewood Venter said...

mamash cute- why the animosity? Doesn't sound "jewish" to me!

5/08/2006 10:24 AM  
Blogger Illegal Alien said...

Semgirl,
It's great to give people the honest perspective of marriage, since so many young people expect married life to be one of bliss and romance, and the truth is that it CAN be, but not without tremendous effort and sacrifice. It doesnt come for free. No pain, no gain. So thanx for your honesty.
On the other hand, I do feel taht it's inapropriate to announce private things that go on in your marriage, like that fight during sheva brachos. Its absolutely NONE of our business. It's between you and your husband. And on the flip side as well. If something positive goes on between a husband and wife, it's also no one's business. Unless we're trying to get evryone jealous, of course. But privacy and tznius is such an integral part of Judaism, and what goes on in a marriage needs to stay within the walls of the couple. That's the only way to keep it sacred and special.
I wish you lotsa hatzlacha- your husband got a great girl.

5/08/2006 11:44 AM  
Blogger david said...

Hello, is anybody home here? We're all breathlessly awaiting some kind of response here.

5/08/2006 12:18 PM  
Blogger Jewish Thinker said...

Have you thought of going with the Tichel? Or does that just relegate you back to BUM status?

5/08/2006 12:20 PM  
Blogger Jewboy said...

Mamash Cute-Irrespective of whether your thoughts are legitimate, the way you express them is horribly rude and insensitive. I hope that you don't berate a lot of people this way, because if you do you contribute to the problems we have nowadays.

5/08/2006 2:37 PM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

Sorry I havent been able to comment lately. I was swamped with emails , Ims and phonecalls from ppl that have reached out to me for advice or Chizuk. Honestly, I feel I am too young to be in such a role but I always try to help another Yid, anyway.

FG…I always love hearing from you..I never received a response to my recent email to you..Just a gentle nudge.

Special…He is MORE then Ok, lol..

Eishet…in Lakewood it is more about your circle of friends and activities then age, perse..

Josh..I treasure your friendship, and appreciate your words of wisdom..

Ivn…nice to see you too..

DM…I wont even dignify your obscenity with a response. Just get hekp

Jewboy and David….thanks…DITTO

Elisheva…someone get me the smelling salts lol… Words can not convey how ecstatically happy I am to see you have returned.. Hope to see you posting about your experiences soon..

SWFM…thanks..I plan to

FG…I intend to do just that..

Limey…Bilvavi..it’s a b-ful tune,, why do you ask..

Curious…there is a world of difference between sharing something intimate, when the need for emotional catharsis strikes and just putting on a peep show for you.

Blueenclave….good luck in all your endeavors..

MC…you are not mamash cute, you are mamash offensive…

IA…. it’s a blog duh, that’s sort of what the purpose is.. Don’t worry my husb reads the handwritten version of these posts before they put online..

David.. Thanks for the gentle nudge

JB… me, too…you can be 1000% rt ,but once you express yourself in such an obnoxious manner your point loses all validity..

5/09/2006 9:14 AM  
Blogger Limey2001 said...

I was wondering if it was Jewish or a classical piece Like Pachelbel's Canon
and to change the topic?

5/09/2006 1:10 PM  
Blogger Holeches Levadi said...

Just a random comment - I was reading a comment you posted on my blog a little while ago, and I realized that what meant nothing to me then means a lot to me now. One of your pieces of advice to me (as a newly-engaged) was that I will have mood swings and things that are very atypical for me. I have been, and they've confused me quite a bit. I'm so, so glad to hear that they're normal. I had started to think they might be a sign of something else...

Anyway, just wanted to say - thank you again!

5/09/2006 10:48 PM  
Blogger Jewboy said...

Holeches-Mood swings are common throughout engagement and marriage. It is important to realize that it does not mean anything is wrong with you, your spouse, or your relationship. The difficulties of marriage need to be emphasized more so that people understand that they're normal.

5/10/2006 9:07 AM  
Blogger bec said...

mazel tov!!!!
i haven't read your blog in a while and i come pack and omigoodness!!!!! you're married!!!!!!!!!!!!
again, MAZEL TOV!!!!!!!!!!

5/10/2006 8:30 PM  
Blogger Lakewood Venter said...

All women have mood swings. Nothing abnormal about that!

5/10/2006 9:02 PM  
Blogger Tipesh said...

LV - Maybe there is something abnormal about women in general if they can't stick to their moods.

5/12/2006 1:05 PM  
Blogger Tipesh said...

It is normal for men to want to discuss obscene things. It gives them a certain sexual pleasure. It does not become right to anyone (except DM and Curious) and noone will even be Dan LeKaf Zechus such actions.

5/12/2006 1:07 PM  
Blogger Semgirl said...

Tipesh...what exactly are you trying to say with your last comment.. I'm confused..

5/12/2006 3:46 PM  
Blogger Lakewood Venter said...

Tipesh- Believe it or not, not ALL men are as sick as you make them out to be! Just because you have a sick sense of what brings you pleasure, doesn't mean we all do!

5/14/2006 9:22 PM  
Blogger my bald sheitel said...

YOU'RE MARRIED OMG MAZAL TOV! YAYAYAYAYAY. SO EXCITED FOR YOU. YOU SHOULD BE ZOCHE TO BUILD A BAYIS NEEMAN B'YISROEL. WOW!

5/22/2006 11:35 AM  
Blogger ms. shtark said...

woa!

7/25/2006 9:33 AM  

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