Two Upcoming Events

My husband brought home this poster and I was furious. How come any shiur, lecture, or presentation that remotely resembles learning on more than a 3rd grade level, or has the slightest bit of substance is restricted to men. To add insult to injury, at many shiurim and functions for men there are very nice refreshments at no charge, whereas virtually every single lady’s event charges at least ten dollars to every pathetic cow that walks thru the door. To be fair, often there is an elegant buffet, or an extravagant desert table, which is followed by an airhead speech or presentation that is fluffier then some of the Petit Fors served.

Legal holidays feature full-day programs for men only (of course) that entail hearty breakfasts and even more robust shiurim given by world renowned lecturers, many of whom give the same lecture for both genders in Flatbush. Recently, I asked why this is, and was told that there is no demand for it in Lakewood Ir-HaTorah, in a very condescending manner. The rationale is that nebach these poor souls have to work, let them at least have a Collel day on legal holidays. Whereas, the working women, who fund most of ‘Torah-town’’s economy are expected to use these legal holidays to catch up with cooking and housework.

I find it particularly appalling that next Monday there will be a seminar discussing real estate brokers in Halacha, for men only, when a good percentage of real-estate professionals in town happen to be women. This is a slap in the face to these hard working women.

Ironically, as we continue to preach about Tznius at every opportunity possible, both at simchas and tragedies the level of Tznius in Lakewood is going down as witnessed by the current trends in headwear and footwear that are favored by many ladies. Maybe if more learning and spiritual fortification was offered for women the degree of Kedusha, and that in turn would result in an increase in Tznius adherence.

In contrast, here is an ad for a women’s event. Notice the heavy-weight price and the light-weight content. I have a two questions on this:

1) How is it possible to have “Timeless Torah Wisdom” without Torah learning?
2) What exactly is the “Powerful Message”?

And of course, this concludes with a slide and song production entitled “Princess”
The charge is $12 for adults and $8 for students.

With all due respect to the highly impressive panel and rabonim, it seems to me that a gathering of this magnitude could be used to disseminate a great deal of Torah learning. If a woman defines herself as a Torah Jew, then all her roles in life will be defined in terms of this. With her mind sharpend and refined by Torah learning, she achieves kedusha and clarity of purpose.

Feelings

I have been going thru many emotions this last week or so. From total denial, to shock and horror, to outrage, to nausea, to fear, to abject despondence and grief . After discussing this with many friends and a professional counselor, and weighing the pros and cons of writing about this, I decided that I need to write something for mental catharsis, and assuage the pain that comes from bottling up all the feelings inside.

If my dear friend, or her family is reading this, know that you are in my prayers, that Hashem should give you the strength to get past this , and go on to have a wonderful life. The entire community feels your pain and wishes you the best. It is my solemn wish that this should be a Kappora before the Ribono Shel Olam , instead of anything worse to your family, community, or Klal Yisroel. I hope this isn’t inappropriate on my part, in any way. I beg you for Mehila if it is.

This organization is wonderful in such matters and can be very helpful in getting thru the long-term path back to normalcy, health, and well-being.

Although the idea of Shomrim and greater awareness in general is positive, I feel it would be very beneficial, as well as, an unfortunate need for all Bais Yaacov schools to offer courses in basic self-defense. These can incorporated into a health/exercise program that would serve a double purpose of helping the girls trying to maintain a certain weight and get exercise, in addition to learning self-defense techniques that will help us all feel secure.